Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Sad Happenings

I was thinking about the verdict in the Steubenville rape trial, while I think justice was partially served, I still feel these teenagers got off easy. Photos, witnesses...I mean what does it take to prove that this poor girl was taken advantage of? The sad thing about this whole story is this type of thing has gone on for decades, centuries even, with many of these rapists never paying for what they have done, simply walking away, no proof to convict them except some broken girl's word that will not hold up in court. I have often thought about girls I have known that went through things like this. In high school, I remember my brother telling me about a girl who was in my class in eighth grade, her freshman year at some party, she passed out, some guys dragged her up to bedroom and my brother said the line for taking turns was down the hall and spilled onto the stairs. This fifteen year old girl was being brutalized while a party was going on downstairs. I remember sitting across from her in science and thinking of how beautiful and sparkly her eyes were, she moved away after that happened, her whole life changed and her family's solution, rather than try for justice, was to run from the scourge. I couldn't help but cry thinking that something like that must have extinguished that beautiful light in her eyes. Also, the issue is the person who sees, and knows they should do something, but chooses to walk away, turn a blind eye. I think that person is just as guilty and should be held accountable in some respect. Another girl in high school passed out a party and she wasn't raped...but some jerks decided to put a hot dog inside her, and then to see how many they could fit... from then on, when she would walk down the halls, people would whisper, weinerdog, or want some ketchup? I wasn't at that party, but the fact that everyone in the school knew what had happened to her, was astounding.  I always wondered who the assholes were that actually did that to her? Why weren't they being whispered about and called freaks or sickos? They ruined her last two years of high school, not to mention the emotional damage that may have taken years, if ever.. to recover from.
Last year when my father died, at his funeral I turned around after hugging my family and having a good cry and I was shocked to look into the face of ##### who when I was sixteen, had come into my bedroom, drunk, and pushed me down on the bed, his one hand holding me down by the face while the other pulled at my overalls, ripping at my bra and shirt, one knee jammed into my stomach. ##### was one of my brother's football buddies, I was fighting back, shocked. I couldn't imagine what he was thinking, I was his friend's sister, I reached up and scratched his face, trying to get free, his hand tightened around my chin, sliding to my neck, then suddenly, he was pulled back off of me.  I saw my brother's best friend holding him against the wall, by his neck, he roared "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU ASSHOLE, THAT'S JOHN'S SISTER!!" This jerk #####, said, "Man, I didn't know she was John's sister!" Scott threw him out the door, and asked if I was OK, he was fuming mad, I could see the rage in his face. He said, "I'm sorry." and walked out. I sat there thinking, what if I wasn't John's sister, would Scott have turned a blind eye? Later, when I told John what happened, he shook his head and said, I'll pay him back for that. A few weeks later, John came up to me laughing and told me that he slept with #####'s sister.  I said "What??? How does that provide me justice?" John said, "He never actually raped you."
At the funeral, I looked ##### in the eye, he was with his wife, his two children, I shot him a look that said, I know who you are, what you are capable of. I wasn't hurt, but it could have been a very different  outcome if Scott had not been there to help me.
I think the truly awful part about this, is the photos that were taken and posted online.  Clearly the girl is unconscious and completely limp, and being taken to her captor's lair. This type of abuse has entire websites devoted to this sort of thing, drunk girls, passed out girls, even girls being ravaged while passed out. It's disgusting, and it's numbing the minds of many of the young men that are coming of age.