Tuesday, May 27, 2014

THE movies

I'm not a big time movie goer, if there is something that I really want to see, I will usually carve some time from my schedule, but usually I just wait for it to show up on cable or download it from the web. When all the awards shows are airing, I have to admit that I've maybe seen two to four of the movies nominated. I really enjoy a great movie, one that gets you thinking or emotional.

Back in my early twenties I was experiencing some heavy anxiety and had to avoid movies all together- anything could send me into a panic. Recently I took our two older  boys to see Godzilla. I started getting anxious right from the opening scene,  I thought "Am I going to have to slip out, leaving the boys to watch these giant monsters all by themselves, while I spend my ten dollars having a panic attack in the bathroom?" I snapped my jaws together and put the cold drink against the pulse throbbing in my neck, that seemed to help, covering my ears helped a bit as well. I'm sure looked like some kind of idiot, but whatever. I was so happy I stayed, I loved the movie, very well done and super entertaining! Bravo!

Greg and I also will catch some flicks together on the couch, we recently watched Don Jon, which we both laughed at, and I thought it had a really great lesson to be learned at the heart of the movie- A winner!  I really like Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who also directed btw (hey!). Enjoyable, truly.

There are the movies that if I'm channel surfing and happen to come across that certain movie I must watch, such as: Dirty Dancing, any of the Harry Potter movies, The English Patient, When Harry met Sally, any movie with Ewan McGregor, Fight Club,  9 1/2 weeks, Lord of the Rings (any), Forest Gump, L.A. Confidential (but I think this is because I think I may understand what is going on if I watch it enough), Unforgiven, The Sixth Sense, The Others, Breakfast at Tiffany's! There- I think that's most of them.  I adore a good book, but a movie done well is sort of like a good book wrapped up in a pretty little package and mostly it's only about two hours out of your life to enjoy!

I'm looking forward to seeing the third Hobbit movie & would like to see the new X-men movie that's just out. Also,  I'm totally into Game of Thrones- which feels like an ongoing movie somehow.

Loved this, has a sweet lesson

Such sweet sadness

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Praying hands

Thinking about mothers who have lost their children today and all my love and hugs go out to them, my mother included.

This is a poem i wrote about a friend of mine that was gone way to soon...

Praying Hands

Your praying hands looked smooth in the photo

But- you hated your hands

the lines
the veins visible beneath
their plumpness

You would ask me every time 

Did you look different?

Did you seem any different?

you cut your hair-

dyed it-

You ripped your t-shirt

I said you looked different

Still you giggled like a child

covered your mouth with your hands

The rosary you were holding in the photo

a strange foreshadowing

of your coming sainthood 

And the landscape of your face forever the same-

Photo by me, Cemetery NJ

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Tender Heart

Mothers face was always the same to me
I didn’t see the creases or folds of skin
or the scars
I only saw the sadness
the loss in them
even through the laughter
The hands, hers, always moving, already on to the next task
or chore, or dish, never resting, never still

The love was there
with no understanding
no doorway to enter
How I wished to ease that sorrow
some people come through so unscarred, so unchanged

Would that I knew the thirteen year old  you
laughing, running, a sweet grin from ear to ear
Pansies held out to your father
who didn’t reach for them
holding instead a bible, fingers white with the grip
Eyes seeing the beauty, but no soft mother there 
to explain what tenderness was
Mean as the devil, his misshapen nose
reflecting the empty space inside

Dear Mother
your beauty will be remembered
as well as the tears
my mom